Dear Friends,
I have a number of plants in my little loft. I find that having green things around make me happy. However, time has shown that they are more or less, um, robust. For instance, since last summer I share the loft with a fairly tall and big-leaved ficus, the Latin name of which, incidentally, is Ficus Robusta. This lovely little green piece of joy is standing in a particularly favourable spot. For such a ficus, a good location entails lots of light but without being exposed to the harsh direct light of the sun.
For several weeks after taking it into my care, I believed it was happy with me. I did my very best to care for it. I polished its little leaves from dust, I ensured the soil was always moist, and, importantly, I never let any water remain in the pot after having watered it, something which easily causes the roots to rot. Actually, I also played music to it, and the rest of my plants, in a rather vain attempt at making them happy. But a month or so after moving in with me, the ficus started looking sad, droopy even, with its big oval leaves adopting a significantly more vertical pose than the perky horizontal one they had in the beginning.
I always thought it was because I watered too much or too little, or because the location sucked. Or maybe it didn’t like my music. But suddenly last week, the ficus began to shine. It lifted its leaves and now has a much more springy feel to it overall, the colour is deep green and it seems much more alive.
I had no idea what could have caused this sudden and unexpected change of mood. Then I realised what it is. It’s Barbie. Since last week (the formalities were dispensed with on Friday morning), she and I are together and so we’ve spent more time at each other’s places. She’s been here a few times since last weekend. The sudden vitalisation of the ficus coincides perfectly with Barbie being here more and more. I remember the same, but opposite, happened in September when la parisienne left for Africa. After that, the ficus began looking more and more weary, rubbery and light green.
It’s weird but it’s true: ladies make plants happy.

12 comments
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April 10, 2007 at 11:20 pm
Jo
Go out and get yourself a spray-bottle of Yates Girly-Pheromone Leaf Booster.
Mind not to get any on yourself, though. Confusing.
April 11, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Venting
Women also catch more fish. Something about hormones I think.
April 11, 2007 at 5:37 pm
LondonGirl
Some ladies maybe. I have brown fingers, not green and no house plant has ever survived more than a month of my regime. The plants in the garden are subject to a Darwinist Survival Of The fittest regime, which means there’s mostly lots of ivy.
But glad your fig likes Barbie!
May 9, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Jo
We’re worried sick, y’know.
Would it kill you to drop us a line?
May 10, 2007 at 5:29 pm
DG
I’m not worried, but I am disappointed – just find an entertaining blog and the lad is off shagging barbie!
July 16, 2007 at 7:57 pm
Venting
Where, oh where, have you gone?
October 17, 2007 at 4:06 pm
black_mamba
Is this gonna Kill You? No i Dont Think so !
November 22, 2007 at 10:39 am
pinkjellybaby
hey. HEY. come on…where are you?
November 27, 2007 at 12:27 am
DG
Maybe she killed him. Killer Barbie. Should we mount a search party?
November 27, 2007 at 4:44 pm
pinkjellybaby
I think we should. Maybe she ate him
December 14, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Anon
Is he dead?
January 28, 2010 at 12:49 pm
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gdtvi2q
すっごいよ!
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