That last post may have been over the top. But I’ve promised myself never to delete anything on this blog. What’s here is how it was when I wrote it and that’s how it remains. I don’t want to give an edited view of what’s happening. Well, of course apart from fixing spelling and grammar mistakes to the extent I find them (I’m a lawyer after all).
I’ve just texted la parisienne with “Hi we need to talk” and received “Yes we have” so we’re meeting up today at 5 p.m.
I really have no idea what we’re going to talk about or what I want to say or achieve with this meeting. Can you help me?
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March 24, 2007 at 12:39 pm
sammy
hmmm. it’s hard becasue i don’t really know you or her but i will have a go if i may?
it seems that you are giving her a hell of a lot of power over you and this is definately not a good thing. Any relationship should be balanced, and if it isn’t then i believe it’s not going to work.
it also seems that the realstionship you had was a very damaging one… could you really go through all of that again?
i was always one to say that i never wanted to feel like a relationship not working was my fault, so i put my absolute heart and soul into it…. but if the other person isn’t willing to, then it’s going nowhere. I have re-visited a realtionship three times that was like this and every time i have come away with another little piece of me in tatters and i ended up in a state that i never want to be in again.
remember all of that hurt she caused. remember why you wanted to move on.
use this talk to set all you want to straight with her, apologise if there’s something you feel bad about. explain if there’s something that you feel needs explaining. but ultimately tell her that you are trying to move on with your life, and you would appreciate as much distance as she can give you becasue you are trying to start afresh and all she reminds you of is the pain.
if she is a decent person then she will do everything you ask and you can work on your relationship with Barbie…. or if not that then work on getting la parisienne out of your head
hope that makes sense
pinkJB xx
March 24, 2007 at 12:59 pm
adventure boy
Thanks a million PJB, this really helps. Sending that sms to her, I remembered what my friend Fast Lieutenant said about maintaining a balance of power after a breakup and trying to reduce being the losing party. Maybe I was wrong to ask her to meet, but I just felt that since we’re now in the same city again and will in all likelihood see each other at work almost daily, it was best to meet and sort things out.
I don’t know if I would take her back even if she told me on her life that I’m the one she wants. I feel that the trust I had in her is, well, reduced.
I think your point about distance is good. I could never stand in her way if she finds someone she really likes/loves and wants to start something with. But I think she could at least try to refrain picking up one night stands in front of my eyes if I’m at the same bar. That really hurts. I hope she’ll understand this.
I’m thinking of telling her that I’m trying to build something with someone so she understands that I’m not just saying these things to get back at her. Not sure if that’s a clever thing to do though.
March 25, 2007 at 12:38 pm
sammy
my goodness…. i said something sensible that made sense for once!! hehe
glad you’re feeling good about it now x